


calling out for somebody to hold

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Canon Compliant, M/M, Sort Of, drunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“-because you can’t seem to keep your hands off of me! That’s the reason we’re in this fucking mess to begin with! That’s the reason those fans think that there’s something going on between us!”“I’m sorry, who was the one out of us who at least tried to deny it?! Not you! ME! You were just sitting about and letting me talk! That was two years ago Harry!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson (members of boyband One Direction) had a big falling out in 2014. Now, in 2015, the boys all decide to go partying in Las Vegas. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. chapter 1

\--------  
2014  
\--------

“-because you can’t seem to keep your hands off of me! That’s the reason we’re in this fucking mess to begin with! That’s the reason those fans think that there’s something going on between us!” Harry yelled, swinging his arms around angrily. 

Louis scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’m sorry, who was the one out of us who at least tried to deny it?! Not you! ME! You were just sitting about and letting me talk! That was two years ago Harry! You haven’t done shit but at least I tried to make the people thi-” 

“You put your arm around me while saying that! Of course they wouldn’t believe that! Are you daft? You with your ‘genuinely, seriously, literally’! Come on, Louis!” Harry’s voice was loud and irritated, and he put his head into his hands, “You know, I can’t deal with this today. Bye. Do whatever you want but don’t fucking include me anymore. I can’t stand this shit. From now on, at least try to not touch me, I don’t want to get into any more trouble!”  
Harry walked towards the door with large steps, before turning around one last time, “You know, maybe we just shouldn’t talk anymore, then you won’t touch me either.” He turned back and walked off, leaving Louis alone.

“Well, that was a success. Or not.” Sighed Louis, putting his head against the wall.

\-------------  
One year later  
November 2015  
\-------------

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Niall? They haven’t had a good conversation in a long time, I’m not sure going clubbing is the best idea,” Liam asked quietly, his eyes switching between Louis standing on one side of the room and Harry on the other.

Niall waved it away with his hand, “It’ll be fine, they’ll make up and we’ll all be friends again. All of us.”

Niall and Liam clearly hadn’t been paying enough attention to the boys in question, as Louis had walked towards Harry and tried to talk to him.

“Come on, Harry, can we at least have a conversation? You nearly ignored me for a year, then you talked to me in March after- well you know after what, but then you stopped and went back to only talking to me when you have to, and even then it’s short and you sound mad. We should try to be nice, if not for us, then for the band and Niall and Liam.” 

Harry turned around, faced Louis and spat, “We shouldn’t do that. That won’t end well,” before turning back.

Louis scoffed and poked his finger into Harry’s back, making him swat his finger away, “Really? You’re going to act like a little kid? I already have enough small siblings at home, we don’t need a toddler in the band.” 

Harry whirled his body around so quickly it almost made him lose his footing, before Louis grabbed onto his arms and kept him steady. Harry’s eyes locked onto Louis’ hands gripping his wrists, feeling as if the skin under his hands was burning. He quickly ripped his wrists from Louis’ grip and shoved his hands into his pockets, before hissing at him, “That’s what I mean! Stop fucking touching me! This is why Simon kept trying to separate us, but you’re a cunt and won’t listen!” The sound echoed in the room, containing only the four boys.

Niall and Liam looked up at the sound of Harry’s voice hissing those words and Liam coughed, glaring at Niall. The latter looked at the former and whispered, “This is probably not a good time to tell Louis I invited Zayn is it?” 

Liam’s eyes grew as he heard the words coming out of Niall’s mouth. Not thinking about the consequences, he cried out, “You invited who?!”  
Louis and Harry stopped their yelling to look at Liam and Niall standing on the other side of the room. 

“What? Who invited who and why is Liam mad about it?” Louis spoke quickly, his eyes flitting between Niall and Liam’s guilty faces. After a few seconds of silence, Niall rapidly muttered something the others could barely hear.

“Imayhaveinvitedzayntocomeoutwithusandhemayhavesaidyes.” Niall’s eyes immediately locked onto his feet after saying those words. He fiddled with his hands behind his back, trying to not think about the explosion of emotion waiting to happen. 

A gasp escaped Harry’s mouth, his hands flying to his mouth, not sure if he should laugh or cry. His eyes locked onto Louis’ face instinctively, looking for a reaction, looking if he had to console or calm down Louis.

Louis’ face was emotionless, but his eyes were wide open, he wasn’t blinking and his fists were clenched at his sides and his breathing was gradually speeding up. Harry had an urge to rush forward and envelop Louis in a hug. His brain battled with his heart, the latter winning. He took two big steps and wrapped his arms around Louis’ small torso from behind. 

Louis relaxed into the embrace for a split second before stiffening again. He pulled himself out of Harry’s grasp and shuffled towards Niall. He pointed his finger in Niall’s face and spat out, “That was the worst decision in the world! What the hell were you thinking?!” Louis put his hands up in a dramatic manner before continuing, “Wait, never mind. You WEREN’T!” His voice broke on the last word and the tears started rolling down his eyes. 

\------------  
8 months ago  
March 2015  
\------------

“What the hell do you mean?” Louis' voice drowned out all of the other voices in the room; which were weak and sad, while his was strong and angry. His eyes were hard and they were focused onto Zayn’s face, the face of the man who had just announced that he was leaving their band. He was quiet and his eyes were downcast. “I said, what the hell do you mean? Leaving the band? What kind of sick fucking joke is this?” 

Zayn looked up and connected his gaze with Louis’, “Why would I joke about this? Do you really think I would joke about something like this, Louis? I thought you knew me better than that!” 

Louis scoffed, “Yeah, I thought I knew you too, but the Zayn I know, or knew I guess, would never, ever, leave the band for any stupid reason!” His eyes blazing with anger, he spat out the word with disdain.

Zayn’s expression suddenly changed from sad to resentful, his finger pointing towards Louis, almost hitting him in the chest. “Don’t you dare say it’s a stupid reason! I’ve told you the fucking reason, don’t tell me it’s stupid! I can’t do anything about it and it’s not making my mental health any better that you’re standing here, telling me my health is a stupid reason to stop doing something I don’t love anymore!”

Louis yelled back, “The way you’re telling me this, it seems like you never loved it to begin with, so why did you even stay this long, hmm? Why didn’t you just quit at the start when you didn’t have millions of fans relying on you?” 

Zayn ignored the words, despite his heart breaking slowly, and took a deep breath. “You’re not in the right mindset right now. I’m not changing my decision, I’m leaving the band and I’m probably not coming back,” he looked at Harry, Niall and Liam standing off to the side, “I’m sorry, I really am, but I need this, call me selfish all you want, but it’s my decision and I have to stick with it.” 

Harry nodded, half listening to Zayn’s talking and half looking and checking if Louis was okay. His eyes were fixated on Louis’ face, thinking about how he must be feeling, Zayn was his best mate. 

Zayn was turned with his back towards Louis, his face towards the other boys while talking to them. Louis wasn’t paying any attention towards him at all, the only thoughts running through his head being those of fear and anger, why would Zayn do this to them? He loved them, didn’t he? But if he truly loved the boys, he would stay. 

Zayn stepped towards Harry, putting a hand on his shoulder and whispering in his ear, “You should probably talk to Louis, he needs it.” Harry tried to debate with Zayn, saying that it wasn’t a good plan and that people may think something is going on. Zayn looked at Harry with disdain and scoffed at him, “You know, you may be out of touch at the moment, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still your best friend.” 

Harry looked at Louis and back at Zayn, “You’re his best friend, he probably hates me. I’ve been an absolute dickhead towards him. I don’t deserve his friendship anymore.”

Zayn studied Harry’s face, expecting to see a smile or any sign of joking in his expression, “He loves you, H. Of course he does, you’re still his best friend, he told me so. He misses you, that’s all. I won’t be here anymore to keep him happy and keep him from breaking down, he needs you.” Zayn pricked his finger into Harry’s chest at that last sentence and Harry sighed, before staring at Louis’ small figure, hunched over alone.  
He enveloped Zayn in a last hug, telling him to keep in touch and not forget about them. “Of course not, you’re still my brothers, you know that.”

Harry started towards Louis, the latter looking up in surprise at the sound of footsteps coming towards him. Before he could let any words escape his mouth, Harry was pulling him close and resting his chin on Louis’ head.  
“You know I love you, right Lou? Don’t ever forget that. You’re my best friend and no one can ever replace you.” Harry spoke softly but clearly.

At the sound of those words in his ear, mixed with the emotion of Zayn’s planned leave, the tears started streaming down Louis’ face, all of the pent up emotions from the last year finally leaving his body as Harry whispered soft words of encouragement in his ear.

His voice breaking, he managed to murmur in Harry’s ear.

“I love you too, Haz.”


	2. chapter two

TW: Panic Attack

Present time

Louis’ breathing was quick and restricted, his lungs feeling as if they were being pressed together. Tears were falling down from his eyes, staining his cheeks and his shirt. As his mind started relaxing and calming down slowly, he realized he was sitting on a chair, Harry sitting in front of him on his knees. He blinked a few times and wiped his cheeks with the palm of his hands.

A relieved breath escaped Harry’s mouth as he saw Louis coming back from his semi unconsciousness. The smaller man had started hyperventilating after yelling at Niall. While the other boys hadn’t known what to do, Harry had all too well.

Louis had been having these kinds of attacks, panic attacks, for years now. Harry thought they’d stopped, but apparently they’ve returned. Some of them in the past had been bad, while some had been more manageable. But never, ever, had it been as bad as this one.   
He’d started shaking and his eyes had started blinking extremely fast, tears rolling down his face. When he’d had attacks in the past, Harry had been able to at least communicate in some way with Louis, if not via words, then via any other source of communication. This time, Louis wouldn’t respond to anything, not words, not morse, not bsl. Nothing.   
Because he wasn’t responding, Harry had grabbed Louis’ sleeve softly and led him towards a chair, pushing him down to sit and keeping him from hurting himself or falling.

Niall and Liam had stood by silently, their eyes wide at the scene before them. They’d never seen this, what had happened? How long had it been going on? Why did they not know about this?

After a little bit, Louis had started calming down, due to the calming words Harry was whispering in his ear, whilst keeping his hands on top of Louis’.  
“Wh-” Louis scraped his throat, “What happened? What’s going on?” His eyes were big, still filled with tears, his voice was shaky and his throat felt dry. 

Harry looked at Louis’ face with concern and grasped his hands a little tighter, before coughing and speaking, “It happened again Lou.” He didn’t even notice the nickname slipping out. Harry sounded soft, concerned and Louis thought he could detect a little disappointment in his voice.

Louis’ eyes widened and he quickly pulled his hands out of Harry’s. The latter moved away as Louis moved to stand up. He entwined his hands in his hair and squeezed his eyes closed, as if not seeing anything would make it all disappear. 

Niall took a step in Louis’ direction, reaching out to put his hand on his shoulder. Louis flinched away and Harry stuck his arm out in front of Niall to stop him, shaking his head.   
“You should leave him alone.” Harry spoke, nudging his head in the direction of the door, “Only you know who could calm him down whenever he was like this. He won’t even talk to me I’m sure. He never does when he’s like this.” Harry’s face was filled with sadness and Niall looked at him, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know.”

“You couldn’t know. He never wanted us to tell you. If it was because of shame or guilt, I don’t know, but he just didn’t want us to.”

A sound emerged from the room other than Louis’ quiet whimpers and sobs. All four of their heads snapped up at the sound of the door creaking open. Harry held his breath as he took in the figure of the boy- no, man standing in the doorway. 

“Hey,” he breathed out, “Is this a bad time? Should I lea-” 

The words were cut off as Louis slammed his body into him, almost knocking him off his feet. Louis’ arms were clasped tightly around the man’s chest and he was sobbing into his neck.  
He was taken aback, but put his arms around him anyway. “Hey Lou. It’s okay,” he whispered into the sobbing man’s ear. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay Louis.” Zayn’s words reached Louis’ ears, but not his brain. He kept sobbing and moving his hands all over his back, scared Zayn was going to disappear again. 

After about a minute of Louis crying his eyes out into Zayn’s new shirt, he realized what he was doing and who it was. He pulled back suddenly and took in the man standing in front of him again.

His stubble had grown out a bit, his hair was shorter, the shirt he was wearing had a big wet stain on it from where Louis had been crying just a minute ago. His jeans clung to his legs tightly and he had a bag standing next to his feet, which had been swung over his shoulder when he’d walked in.

“Are you okay Lou?” Zayn’s voice was full of worry, what happened this time? Was it his fault… again?

Louis blinked a few times before balling his hands into fists and taking a swing at Zayn’s head, who blocked it with his arm at the last minute, his eyes wide.

“Didn’t see that coming but okay.” Zayn chuckled, before pushing Louis’ arm back down, keeping a tight grip onto it. “Please calm down Louis. I don’t want to go clubbing with a broken nose now do I?” He smiled at Louis, who was looking at him with a grimace and red eyes.

Louis pulled his arm back with a grunt and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He looked Zayn up and down before storming out of the room, leaving the door wide open.   
Zayn looked at the rest of the boys, who had been mostly silent throughout the whole chaos and clapped his hands together, before speaking. “So, that went well. Who wants a drink? Or maybe a hug first?” He smiled at them, before spreading his arms out and nudging for them to come towards him.

Niall, Liam and Harry all smiled and went in for a group hug, Harry taking a look over his shoulder before shaking his head and turning back to the group, laughing with them about silly things.


End file.
